Hibbity Bibbity / The perils of having roommates.

On the unfortunate experience of hearing your roommate do the hibbity bibbity.

So you're laying there. It's 9:30 p.m. on a Saturday night. You've had a really draining week, Friday night and Saturday afternoon. You're thinking to yourself, "this is exactly what I need. A night in, just for myself, a big sandwich and some crappy TV on DVD. Let...the relaxing...being."

When all of the sudden, you hear it. Your roommate, who shares a (thin) wall with you, is loudly panting and moaning her way though a sexual encounter with Mr. Russian Dude she met at a park. You lay there, gagging, as you brianstorm any and every way to drown out her disgusting, animal-like, porn-star bellowing.

As it turns out, my much-needed, relaxing night ended up with me, digusted, wrapping pillows around my head, trying to avoid the ability to hear. What a disaster.


PERILS

So, you know you have a really great roommate when she has the decency and selflessness to do the following:

• Steals the communal light bulb out of the hallway light when the light bulb in her room goes out. Does not replace it. [Thus resulting in you blindly groping your way out of your room every night and day.]
• Uses your laundry detergent without asking, then informs you that she used it. No remorse. [Mind you she did four loads out of your tiny 16-load detergent bottle.]
• Waltzes into your room at any time of day while you're gone at work to hang up her laundry, sniff around, and do allah knows what in there.

If only this pesky "rent" thing was not a factor!!*

*shakes fist at "rent"