I can't hold this in any longer.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Listen. I've been meaning to talk to you about something for some time now. It's just that it's been festering over the past two months and by the time I get to work each day I'm so upset by it that I try as hard as I can not to think about it until it happens again. But it's just not fair to withhold my biggest problem in life with you, is it?

Ok here we go. Deeeeeeeep breath, wink. You can do this.

I'm in the middle of an emotional breakdown. Every day, it takes as much strength as I can muster to not let my rage slip out into a furious fit of mad. And it all started like this. I live in a dorm. A dorm that hundreds of girls live in. Because of this, I can't remember the last time I was allowed the luxury of actually being the one to decide when I wake up. Every morning, WITHOUT FAIL, I wake up to one of the following:

• Terrible, deafening clanking and clamoring inside of my vents or pipes whether my heat is on or not.
• My own pools of sweat, since the only thing that drowns out the clamoring is when the heat is on full-blast.
• Incessant and top-of-the-lung chirping from birds sitting in a tree directly outside my window, which has to be open because of said full-blasted heat.
• Someone chatting at yell-decibel-level on her cell as she walks by my room.
• Someone nearby slamming a door shut or clomping down the stairs, located directly outside my door.
• The cleaning lady vacuuming so loud at 7:45 a.m. that it absolutely has to be a small square of carpet right outside my door that she is vacuuming. In fact, sometimes I think she just leaves the vacuum on right outside my door, while she does God knows what.
• Random slamming on walls, on doors or the person above me dropping what has to be a sack full of bricks.
• The cleaning lady humming some freaky high-voice tune as loud as any one human has ever hummed.
• The f'ing next door neighbor's alarm going off [ehh-ehh-ehh-ehh] for over an hour because she left already without turning the snooze off. This happened three times in one week and subsequently caused me to slip two of the nastiest letters I have ever written under her door.

I hate the dorm. I hate it. I hate the dirty non-carpeted room floors, the '70s style cafeteria, the patchy walls with missing paint, the horse-tasting mini corn on the cob type things we're supposed to put in our salads, the ladies that work there, the shared bathrooms, and especially, ESPECIALLY, the fact that someone actually thinks it's prudent to start the daily cleaning process before 8 in the morning. WHY?

WWWWHHHHHHYYYYYYY?!?!? Get me out of here.