Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Everyone should probably have one.

I want to talk to you about something today that I really think is going to change your life.

Alias. No, not the show thank you very much. We're talking "alias", as in a name that has been temporarily assumed. Do you have one?

I guess I got to thinking about this for two reasons. One, I'm on a Friends kick right now and both Joey and Phoebe have one (Ken Adams and Regina Phalange, respectively). Two, my friend Tim called me last night and introduced himself as some sort of secretarial bank teller person who wanted to check up on a recent $500,000 donation I made to a local charity. And my other friend Jake frequently likes to refer to himself in return addresses and phone messages as "The New York Times."

So I have one. I made it this summer (complete with fake email address) because I had to email a public figure that I had never met and express disappointment about something she did. Trust me it was for a good reason, and I was very respectable in my approach. I hope she thought long and hard about it.

But there are many other advantages to having an alias, especially when it gets to the point where you don't even have to try to remember what your alias is - it just spills out of your mouth whenever your heart feels it's necessary to provide false identification. This can be useful while ordering pizza, when you are approached in a bar, when you have to give your name at a coffee shop, when taking surveys, etc. Or, if you choose to go the email route as well, this can be useful for when you need to provide an email address but aren't sure if a spam attack will follow.

It's simple, it's useful, it's perf. Get yours today.

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