Just look at her. Little Maya will cute the pants off anyone trying to be cute. Just look at that little tree hugger. She's an infant and she already loves the environment.
So as her favorite aunt, I definitely have responsibilities. I'm flying to see her tonight and I have a suitcase stocked full of things for her that I am now going to force you to oooo and aaah over. But each of these things has a reason behind them because it's my master plan to shape her into a perfect being. Observe.
1. Pretty pink girl dresses. My sister is a huge tom boy, and so is my brother-in-law, obviously. Someone's got to help the little lassie look like the pretty princess that she is.
2. A boy tank top of an alien flying to mars. Did I tell you Maya is going to grow up to be an astronaut? Well, she is. Because of me. And because of this shirt.
3. An actual infant-sized rash guard. You know, a rash guard, to prevent surfers from getting board rash. They're normally made for adults. But Maya will pretty much be a surfer by next year knowing her parents.
4. This stuffed animal, so that she may appreciate people of all different forms of beauty, and learn that even though she's really pretty herself, uggos can be fun too.
5. The world's cutest onsie.6. And then, of course, I want her to be brilliant and love books like her auntie and uncles and mom and dad, so I picked her out these, which perfectly suit the personalities of her mom and dad.
7. And every baby needs a blanket. I dropped the ball on my plan for knitting something for her so instead I got her the softest, monkiest blanket I could find.
I hope she loves me.
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