Want to know when you're gonna die?

This organization called Blue Zones developed a test that tells you how long you're expected to be healthy and when you're probably going to die.

Anyway, I took it because how could you not? Here 'tis.

New keys!

Ok. I bought a new piano and it rocks. I want to show you how happy I am with it, but I must conceal my identity (as you understand). So here you go.


My next move will be to learn/start remembering how to play this puppy. Then I will write you a song, or perhaps learn your fav song and play it for you. Zoom!

Bootastic.

My car got hit by this.


*sigh.

I was driving down the highway one completely normal morning when all of a sudden a truck full of rocks driving next to me and slightly ahead of me hit a pothole and a gigantor boulder bounced out of it, smashed my fog light, then bounced around underneath my car.

Ok so the rock was more like the size of a large head.

But no I didn't get the license plate (I was driving for cripes sakes!) and no I didn't see the name of the company. It was just a huge truck with a (loose) tarp over the top.

I got an estimate, and they said it's $330 to replace. No thank you.

Current fog light count: 1/2

I would NEVER do this in real life.

My friend told me about a recent (really disturbing) dream she had and it made me realize that this is the third dream I have heard of in the last couple of weeks where someone violently cut someone else with a knife.

Observe.

#2. My recent dream:
Here's some context. In real life, I have been considering getting a cat because lately I have been feeling the intense urge to care for something small and alive. Also, I am constantly hearing stories about adorable little buddies that make people my age happy. So my roommate and I decided to visit the Humane Society last weekend, but we picked the smallest and dingiest one to go to. We brought a cat to a cell-like room to "play with", but mostly she just hesitantly stared at us as we hesitantly stared at her. Then we put her back in her cage and left.
Moving on, I had started to reconsider the whole cat thing, when I had a dream that really solidified this reconsideration. In my dream, there was a cat trying to crawl up my body in order to claw my face. At first I tried as hard as I could to just push it down, but it was fiercely persisting. So finally, I took a knife off the counter, and cut the cat in half. Right down the middle.

#2. My coworker's dream:
Here is some context. In real life, my friend is the sweetest most kind and adorable person ever. She never says or thinks anything mean and when you're around her you just want to pinch her cheek she's so cute. She also watches a lot of cop/investigator shows in her free time. Sometimes the disturbing stuff she watches morphs in her brain then enters her dreams.
Moving on, a couple weeks ago she had a dream that there was this really horrible guy that was kidnapping other guys. He wasn't just killing them, of course. No no. He was killing them, then cutting off...certain...parts, then slicing those parts up, cooking them, and eating them. For her to even tell us this story it took every single ounce of courage in her body. And I courageously repeat it to you today.

#3. Nugget's dream:
Here is some context. My poor friend is plagued by absolutely insane dreams. On occasion they are awesome. Most of the time they're downright wacky. But sometimes...they are terrifying.
Moving on, here is what she said about her latest nocturnal adventure. "Last night I had a really scary one where there were these killers chasing me. I finally caught one in a chokehold and wrestled a butcher's knife from his hand. I knew I had to kill him, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I made some test cuts on his arm and was so disgusted that I was hurting him that I couldn't slit his throat. I handed the knife to someone on my "side" who did it instead. I woke up hyperventilating and sweating."

What does this mean? Why are three good-natured, guiltless ladies being reduced to violent and bloody knife dreams during our slumber?

She needs a name. It's been 5 days already!

Guess who is not scrambling her stuff together and sprinting through the skyways, breathless, desperate to catch the bus home?

This gal.

As of today, you're not going to be reading any more horrific bus catastrophes from me. Uh uh sister thang. Say goodbye to the ol' bussin' me. And say hello to.........my new car!

Here she is, boldly crashing through icy waters.


I'm so excited! Help me name her. She is red. Here are some pending possibilities:

1. tuna tot
2. angela lansbury II
3. scary cherry
4. lady
5. honey balogna
6. rabbit ears
7. ears of corn
8. pops murphy
9. car-y
10. belle
11. carlotta
12. drivin' mcgee
13. cottage cheese head
14. squirly sue
15. the lovely maiden
16. subaruby
17. the jester
18. miss daisy (drivin')
19. sparky
    
20. starlight randibond