Plane Karma

I fly a lot for work. And let me just say that I get easily annoyed whilst doing so.

For example, I flew from Philadelphia to Minneapolis last week and I had to race for my life to get to the gate because of a previous flight that took it's sweet, precious time taking off. Once I finally got to my seat, I took a breather, read a few pages of a book, then when I was allowed to use electronics I started watching Dexter on my phone.

Before I go on, you need to know that I love Dexter. It's the only thing that keeps me sane on airplanes. The moment when I get to flip it on is like ultimate relaxation for me. But Dexter can be...pretty gory. And kind of sexual. So watching it on my phone is the perfect solution for me because the phone is small enough that I can use my hands to block the screen during Dex's brutal murders. Unless, that is, the person next to me is STARING AT MY SCREEN.

That's exactly what happened to me last week. The woman next to me, though she couldn't hear a thing, watched my screen for hours. If I moved it slightly, she would adjust her posture. When I tried to block the screen with my balls of yarn, she would sit higher. I thought about saying something, especially since her watching meant I had to extra-screen the show for violence, but then I thought about something: Plane Karma. I am a firm believer that you have to be a really good passenger and airport patron, otherwise bad things will happen to you.

For example, a man took my window seat on the first flight, and he knew it. I could tell by the guilty look he gave me when I arrived at my seat. Not only did he take the liberty of boarding himself before he was called to ensure that he took my seat, but he didn't even mention it when I got there. I thought about saying something, because I chose that seat specifically and printed my boarding pass a day early to make sure I had that seat, but then I thought again. I fly all the time, I always get window seats, maybe this man NEEDED this seat. Maybe he would die without it. Or maybe he was just a jerk. Either way, I knew that if I gave him this one, it would get returned to me somehow. And me making that Philadelphia flight by about 10 seconds, I really think, was the result of this benevolence.

So back to the Dexter-stealing lady next to me. I thought about saying something to her, but I said to myself, "You know what Anna? You love Dexter. And you're always telling people that they need to watch this show. So even though you're annoyed right now, just think of it this way. Maybe she's so compelled by the show that she'll be a watcher of Dexter from now on. And wouldn't you want that?" So I let her watch for a couple of hours, then when it was time to turn our electronics off, I shook off my annoyance and asked her if she's ever seen Dexter before. It turns out, she hadn't. But she said this: "So, the plot is that there's a guy who kills only bad people, right?" And my mouth...dropped. How could she have gotten that just from the visuals of a couple episodes? "Yes, that's right!" I said. We talked about Dexter for a few more minutes, then the conversation switched topics.

"Hey...do you read?" she asked me. "Yes, I do read. Why?" I asked. Then she took a book out of her bag and said "I'd like to give you this". I looked at the novel she was holding and told her that it's ok, she didn't have to give me the book she was reading. She could just tell me what it was and I'd go check it out myself. "No, no," she said, "I wrote it. And I'd like you to have it." Turns out, this woman is a famous author that has been interviewed on MY public radio station. Exactly one year ago, she probably walked right by my desk! She autographed the book for me saying, "It was so nice to meet you, Anna". She told me that she had just been waiting, flight after flight, to talk to a nice person on a plane that she could give her book to. I'm very thankful I shook off my rage and spoke to this woman, because we ended up talking for a while and I might even babysit her kids.

Here's the moral of the story. Be nice on planes a) because of Plane Karma and b) because you might be sitting next to your new BFF.

This will either make you giggle or puke.

Ready for a whopping dose of adorable? I give you the top three reasons Tom and Anna are the cutest couple this side of the Mississip'.

1. Bread-staches. A creative use of that middle chunk you get at Erbs and Gerbs.

2. This video.



3. The cutest couple blog (besides TP) known to man.

randomdino.com

BACON COOKIES!

I can't believe I forgot to tell you this, but listen. Listen to me right now. One of my good friends is a professional chef. She's talented and creative and when I had swine flu last year she brought me homemade chicken soup, cinnamon applesauce, snickerdoodle cookies, and something else really good that I can't remember what it was (probs because of the swine). Luckily for me, she lives a few blocks down the street, and also luckily for me, a couple weeks ago she muttered the two greatest sentences I have ever heard: "We can't go out for sushi because I have to make bacon chocolate chip cookies. Just come over here."

So I went, and was greeted with sushi, pounds and pounds of cooking bacon wafting into my nose holes and sizzling before my very eyes, and my own chopsticks for which to eat said sushi and snag bits of chocolate chip cookie dough, pre, post, and during the cookie baking process. I am a lucky woman, no?

Completely innapropriate hotel room.

Hi. I'm in LA. I'm staying in a hotel room with a crazy, nonsensical, overly sensual feature. Here, I'll give you a personal tour.



Why? Why? Why is the shower see-through? What if I were sharing the room with a coworker? And no, there is not a curtain that can cover the glass, and no, it does not fog up enough for it to be non-awkward.

Also, this hotel is famous for its swanky rooftop pool and bar. It's called an "endless" pool because the water is level with the floor, so it looks like it goes all the way off of the roof. Cool, right?

Except...here's the thing. NO ONE SWIMS IN IT! They treat it like a decorative water fountain. I mean it's bath water temperature, would be perfect for a night swim, yet it's completely uncool to even approach the water. This baffles me. That just seems so LA. "There is this perfectly good pool to swim in but NO! We will not swim in it! Are you crazy? We're here to party, and wear high heels, and sit in water bed eggs (as seen in photo)." Dumb LA.

Milking cows, trapped kitties, bucking broncos, and dangerously cute kids.

What I learned at a pumpkin patch in Iowa:

1. How to milk a cow! I'm pretty much a straight professional now. If you ever want any fresh water, straight from the cow's teet, let me know.



2. How to ride a horse.

3. I saw these kittens at the pumpkin patch and immediately wanted to adopt them, but was afraid they might be carrying bird flu or Parkinson's or herpes:



4. I have the cutest niece on the whole entire Earth.

Is this not just a delicious, delicious sound?

This is my week of concerts. Sunday - Dirty Projectors. Monday - Rogue Wave. Tonight - Arcade Fire. Dirty Projectors were just, well I'll just use a word my friend Troy coined to describe them. They were "eargasmic". And Rogue Wave, though I've had the pleasure of seeing them twice before, was just, well they were a barrel of amazing. They have so many great songs, but every time, no matter what, I just end up being such a sucker for "Lake Michigan". I mean with a two minute drum intro, who can resist?

Please enjoy my iphone's crappy take on said drum intro. Though you can't see much, you can hear everything, and oh the sound my friends. Oh the sound!

Ok I'm going to start mentally preparing myself for Arcade Fire. Can you believe it? I love this city. And by this city I mean Minneapolis/St. Paul. I don't discriminate.



Update!! Arcade Fire was so good my eyeballs fell out of my head then I had to clean them and put them back in. I waited the WHOLE CONCERT for this song and by gum, it came. The finale of the finale. I start uncontrollably dancing in the end so...sorry for the shakiness. Kind of. Ok no I'm not sorry.

Fun with Finnegans!

Last night the Brave New Workshop kicked off the newest student performance season and to celebrate, they had a party afterward. When Steph (my lover from another mother) got wind of free Finnegans, I blinked and she was at the bar.

She runs for two reasons, she says. Beer, and the bus. That, combined with her "no you didn't" face, is why I love her.

Chameleon Man

I've done a lot of traveling this summer, mostly for work. As the months went by I became intimate with the likes of San Francisco, Seattle, Austin, Atlanta, Charlotte, and up and down WI and MN. But never, not once, have I come across a lizard impression quite this accurate.



I'm so proud.

Seattle is for scooters.

I'm in Seattle at a conference for work, and I decided to bring my beef along because he's super fun and we've both never been to Seattle. We've done lots of cool things so far, like hang around Pike Place Market, see TheaterSports, eat delicious food, hang out in our sweet hotel room, etc. But nothing - NOTHING - tops the moment that I walked out of the conference yesterday, peered around looking for Tom, and then saw him at the bottom of a huge set of stairs, standing next to a scooter, holding two helmets.

Let me just tell you that scooters...are...incredible. The wind in your face! The ease of use! Gliding in and out of lanes! Feeling every bump! We drove up the coast to Ballard and around the downtown area and it was pure perfection except for ONE thing. Some of the hills in Seattle are San Francisco-steep and two times, I kid you not, I had to get off the scooter for Tom to be able to get the scooter up the hill. No worries though. You can't get angry on a scooter! I mean c'mon.

We took a break from our glee-fest to take a short video for your pure enjoyment. I encourage you to picture yourself on the scooter with us, having the time of your life. Try not to move too much though because we might tip over, ok?

So proud of us! One show left.

Zombie High School!